Tupelo Jail House Blues

I got me a woman mean as can be,
She spends her time raisin’ hell with me,
She gives me lip and I can’t talk back,
All she’s good for is givin’ me flack.

I came home from work feelin’ worn and beat,
Hopin’ for a slab of good red meat,
I shouldn’t a whopped her up side the head,
But she gave me a tofu burger instead.

I always make the wrong choice when I chose,
I got the Sittin’ in the Tupelo Jail House Blues.

My woman was madder than I ever saw,
She picked up the phone and she called in the law,
The sheriff put the cuffs on and said, “Hey Sport,
You and I are headed straight down to court.”

The judge on his bench looked down at me,
Sayin’ “Son, you’re a menace to so-ciety,
I’m givin’ you five long years in jail,
Startin’ right now, no chance of bail.”

I’ve just been nailed and I got the screws,
I got the Sittin’ in the Tupelo Jail House Blues.

They got no red meat in this jail,
Just bread and water and the bread is stale,
They got no wine and they got no beer,
But they don’t serve tofu burgers in here.

Spend my nights behind bars and locks,
Days on the chain-gang breakin’ up rocks,
Missin’ the time when I was free,
And my cell-mate’s taken a liking to me.

It seems like I always get bad news,
I got the Sittin’ in the Tupelo Jail House Blues.

I shouldn’t have given in to all that rage,
All it got me was this cold iron cage,
If ever I get out of jail alive,
My woman’s waitin’ there with a Colt 45.

At night I lay here behind these bars,
Talkin’ to the Lord up there in the stars,
Askin’ why he gave me the life I got,
And the Lord, he answered and said, “Why Not?”

I tried to win but I always lose,
I got the Sittin’ in the Tupelo Jail House Blues.